I’m Am Not Crazy Anymore Before I Wrote This

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Getting cold, my muscles jitter, brain it’s done but words don’t wither.

How much longer can I go pushing, when all the weights are filled with cushion?

What is wrong with all my thoughts when they all rhyme and words get tossed.

Do not think a line before, it just comes out and rhymes some more.

Getting colder, yes I am, feel oh-so close approaching death.

Tired friend, I really am, hurting much, close to the end.

Too much coffee, being alone, too much knowledge not yet exposed.

Understanding much doth bring lots of pain and comfort’s sting.

Just for once give me one fan, a reader of what I think not’s bland.

So much pain this job it brings so much of knowing uncertainty.

Days to nights from nights to day and all day long the words glow grey.

I see them coming from my pen, straight to my paper and edit them.

All for what, for who, for nothing, holy shit have I missed something?

I sure hope not, don’t think I have, I’m pretty sure I’m not that bad.

Hearing speak, it gets so old, almost all words are thrown at bold.

La-de-dah, da-de-de-doh, read my words or they’re unwrote.

No I don’t care much ’bout me nor bout the things that money brings.

But these words I feel them tear, I feel the way good words run fair.

Swooping circles, silent dew, some metaphors fill me with puke.

How can I judge, how can I say, how can my voice mean anything.

I am unpublished, not yet a dollar, just a lot of words and not much slumber.

Do-de-dah de-dee-de-dooh, I think this poem’s shitted gold.

I’m not yet crazy, not yet I ain’t, but maybe by the end I fade.

Seeing sounds and hearing lights and smelling touch and thinking howls.

Oh my goodness oh my gosh I have just lost it my brain needs scotch.

Settle down my fine brain please, it’s time to put the thoughts at ease.

Just let them stop we’re sounding mad, scaring off potential fans.

What will they think when they all know that we don’t think ’bout what we wrote.

Oh my golly goodness shoes! What do shoes even have to do, with anything here being used?

Brain I swear, I swear I fear you’ve lost your mind! Yes now I’ve said it.

You’ve gone away and left me endless. Need to please stop typing this, not one out there knows what we mean.

You’re scaring them, my brain, please stop! How many words does your work cost? 

Just lose it brain you need to quit it, this poem is a tale unwritten.

- Thomas M. Watt

The Groom’s Song

Hello my dear unselfish one please come right here you will be spun.

Under my hand you soon shall dance, my hand, your hip, a step or two.

See my eyes tell me the color I do not know your eyes are fuller.

Give me your cheek, take back your tongue and feel my heart transcend you love.

I see your lips the way they pout the way your sad the way you frown.

Not today my little lady just for once give up the heavy.

Just for once this world of sharks can fuck itself and disembark.

Take this dance, this dance with me, take both my hands and smile please.

I’ll smile too, at least I’ll try, I want to feel the joy inside.

I want to be the pair right here that dances fine that looks happy.

Take a whirl, not yet a bow, see my eyes and hear that sound.

Yes my darling this songs for you I know, I know, its not your tune.

You don’t like slow you like it fast, you like to move and speak with crass.

But not today my sweet sweet muse ’cause on this day slow is for you.

Why you ask? Why must this be? You’re not the type for romance things?

Hush hush my darling, my baby love, I know you claim you’d rather fuck.

I would too, at least I’d claim it, but not tonight this night’s been saving.

All your life you’ve been pushed down and told to quiet and to crouch down.

For much too long you’ve stood aside and laughed and clapped for other brides.

But on this night, this night my love, there is no other, you are the dove.

Please do see this songs for you, your beauty breathes out true love too.

Do not cry, not yet my darling, the song still plays please stop your running.

Step on closer, head to my chest, cry a tear but fuck the rest.

This is your night my baby doll. This is the time you are not small.

See it clear please look around. We all love you and love your gown.

We want you to just laugh for once, not at expense but at joy’s brush.

Baby will you please come here, will you please just flee from fear.

Try to see that once in a while it’s a-o-k to feel like a child.

Okay to dream and hope and love, it’s not so bad to just give up-

all your fears your terrors too, all your thoughts of end and gloom.

Baby how I love you now, how much I want you to feel found.

See this night the star is you, to love my wife I say I do.

- Thomas M. Watt

Tired.

I feel your pain your hearts demise the thoughts of lonely killing time.

I know your sights I feel your eyes I see the thing between the lines.

i know that when you sing to me and when you smile and when you think,

It all comes out as just one color a depth of blue a smidge of palor. 

I’m sorry for the pain of old the thoughts of knowing what you’ve been told.

How much pain can one heart take how much longer until what’s fake -

Is no longer is no more how many lives have burnt for sure.

Just come right here your hand to me kiss me with smile fill me with sing.

I’ll take you in swirl you around and show you how to kill a frown.

Hello my little lovely one I love you smile I love your fun.

I’m sorry I can’t express too I’m sorry I can’t say I do.

I’m sorry I am just a wall like one dumb man slow thoughts and all.

It brings me pain you never guessed to know exactly how I impress.

What kind of creatures bumps like this? What kind of man can’t enjoy bliss?

What has happened when one man takes all that’s outside and sees the cake.

What is wrong that my mind see the thoughts inside with clarity.

And why is it that what’s in front, in front my face at felt with touch, why is it I don’t know you I can’t seem to divide the two.

I have no wall built in my brain the thoughts are filed the things are lame.

Can’t quite tell you how it goes cannot explain why no one knows.

Cannot quite give you my hand because you see I don’t understand.

Cannot break through a wall of shouts cannot make sense of why some pout.

Cannot know why some do lie cannot quite see why some speak dry.

Cannot hide behind this mouth cannot quite state what others shout.

How much pain does right thought bring, how much loss do good hearts string. 

I wish I could get up go there and say the thing I said right here.

But instead the words jot down just like a poem kind of profound.

See me laughing shake my hand say good day say bye old friend.

The days of life though they are numbered are adding up and still they slumber.

Not one knows and not one cares that I see clearer here than there,

- Thomas M. Watt 

God

When the music plays and no one sings,

When sights of beauty come to thee,

When I hear the voice of sounds the songs of singing going ’round.

When my heart beats just too fast and when my head hurts from last task.

When the notes all string together when the grey clouds fill the weather -

How sad it makes me feel it does to know a God that no one trust.

To feel him there and looking down to know his presence his peaceful sound.

How much it hurts my heart it quakes to feel his spirit feed me with grace and yet go trampled by the liars,

Tired of hearing falsifiers.

Tired of listening to bloated speak, tired of trying different things.

I know what’s truth I know what’s not I know my God I know what’s taught.

I know the way the voice the King I know the pain that true faith brings.

I know the art the beauty brushed I know the want of knowing such.

It gets so old so old for me that day by day the world rolls deep.

“Listen here I’ve got it down – A way to make God’s will abound.

A way to make yourself feel good a way to do what gods all should.

I’ve found the answer, it says right here – To mans opinions all should fear.’

Oh pipe down for once you trend, just shut up please you’re not my friend.

I’m tired of seeing with my eyes and hearing songs and knowing cries.

I’m tired of all of what’s been said I’m tired of courting bull-shit with dread.

The thing is one and easy and true,

The truth is this – that God loves you.

All his laws his rules and such, follow them you’ll feel a rush.

For they’re designed to grow his kingdom, to help the lowly and never leave him.

What a big mistake it is, the day that man takes God as myth. 

- Thomas M. Watt

Loneliness and solitude are two different things

Thomas M. Watt:

This painting will be world famous one day.

Originally posted on ART FOR NOTHING:

Loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing that you are on the right path. Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without feeling lonely. But eventually it is the best to find a person who will be your mirror. Remember only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you

Shams of Tabriz’s 40 Rules of Love

Watercolor on paper-selfportrait-solitude

Watercolor on paper-selfportrait-solitude

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‘W’r’i’t’e’r’s’ M’a’d’n’e’s’s’

Flowing grey, colors gloom, 

Days to nights the hours zoom.

Sitting working writing lots.

Smelling words, sniffing jots.

Tired? Never. Restless? Yes sir.

Can’t put down the dream today I don’t think this dream will go away.

Got no reason for my belief except to say I’ve grown the seed.

What can be said about passion like this – a longing a turning an obsessive fit?

Oh not too much, except what they say – a passionate man can be so unsafe.

That living obsession and fuming too much and striving too hard and churning and such,

Can lead to madness, all scrambled thoughts. Can leave you with nothing but the knowledge you’ve lost.

But oh what to do! I cry but a tear! For it’s not my fault I’m a writer, those words brought me here!

- Thomas M. Watt